The Search for Paradise
by Himiko5
Summary: A young girl dies in the hospital from a fatal sickness and somehow ends up in Ed's and Al's world. What will happen when the two brothers embark on a confusing adventure to help a friend find her way home? And more importantly, can she get home? EdXOC
1. Chapter 1

Closing the last Manga of FMA i sighed. This would be the third time I've read the whole series. Life tends to get boring here in the hospital when you've been here for about..eh four years. I'm in 10th grade now and I really feel like killing myself. Everyday I have to wake up to the smell of disinfectant and medicine, then the stupid nurses that seem way too happy to be in a hospital skip their merry way into the boring white room that they say is only 'temporary' while they set their clipboard on my night stand with the occasional colorful flower sitting next to me so they can give me my medicine then stick a new needle into my arm for my iv once in a while.

I have some kind of sickness that I don't know how to pronounce and it has bound me to this disgusting hospital. Sometimes thought it's not so bad when there is some other teen around my age because we get to visit, but now I've figured not to get too close to anybody here at the hospital because they usually always leave before I ever get to, or will. I'm starting to feel that I will never leave...But at least I have Mr. Morgan. He's the 60 year old man that lives across the hall from me. He's been here for over eight years, half the time I've been here. I feel really bad for him..I think that's why a year after I checked in I decided to go and pay the wrinkly old man a visit.

Mr. Morgan is a really nice man. Over time I started to call him grandpa M. Every afternoon after lunch I trudge my way over to his room and we visit until the nurse comes in and tells me to go to my room.

Mr. Morgan is always making jokes about the nurses, telling them that they aren't hip with the new generation and they always pop all the balloons at the party. Usually though when I go to talk to Mr. Morgan we talk about FMA. It may not seem like it but after I introduced him to the manga and the T.V. series/movies he has been about as addicted as me. He is always talking about how he hopes I can get well soon so an Edward can come along and rescue me from my personal hell. I always laugh and pretend that his brain is all whacked up before I remind him that FMA isn't real but deep down inside there is this little beat of pain that wishes it were real, my body wishes I could fall in love and be swept away by a heroic Edward Elric, but I can't and never will...Especially because last month my condition got worse and they moved me to a different part of the hospital which scared me. They moved me to the west wing which is where all the people who have critical conditions are placed, the west wing is usually where they place people when they think they are going to die soon.

I asked the nurses why they were moving me and they told me it's because they were running out of room and it would be fine but I knew they were lying. The first night they moved me they talked to my mom out in the hallway where they thought I couldn't hear then broke the new to her that I was expected to pass away soon but they were going to try their best to help me, to save me.

That night when my mother left I cried in my hospital bed. I trashed my feet and threw my pillow at a pretty water color that was framed on a suttle blue wall almost making it fall. I hated that picture so much. It was of a happy little girl who was picking flowers in a field with a cute little cottage waiting for her in the distance.

What were they thinking putting a picture like that in a hospital room for people who will probably never get to be that happy, people who will never get a chance to be that free again.

Finally after a while I go so fed up with that stupid picture I took it down and placed it in a small closet I had in my room for extra blankets and such. The nurses not long after found it in there and the only thing They gave me was an apologetic look before taking it out of my room, Leaving me alone again so I could thrash my feet and arms in anger while tears floated down my face. Hoping that if I cried enough I could create a sea and I could just swim away like Alice in Wonderland,but Today for some reason I was feeling extra tired. My eyes felt heavy and my body couldn't be heated as easily as it could before. I knew something was wrong because more people started to visit me today, even Mr. Morgan dropped by and cracked some jokes but silly stuff but something about him just didn't seem right today, he seemed depressed and even though his smile was the same his eyes were dull and full of sorrow when his dark brown orbs looked at me.

I asked him several times what was wrong but he just told me that he wasn't feeling too well today, that's what he told me before he kissed my forehead then waved goodbye promising me he would visit me again tomorrow before he quietly closed my door and his soft feet slid on the floor outside my room while he trudged away.

In reality I knew what was going on. I knew I was dying but my mind didn't want me to think that. I was too tired that night to protest me dying so instead I went to bed early that night. Hoping that in the morning I would wake up feeling better so I could be moved back to my old familiar room and trudge my way over to Grandpa M's room that smelled like old people like always so he could tease me about my crush on Edward. But I knew that tomorrow would never come...Well, at least for me it wouldn't.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello hello again. I really like this story so far! I'm thinking up some good stuff right now for later on in the story so be prepared! Ha ha well I don't own FMA if i did well...that would be hot.

My mind slowly drifted out of its sleeping state and I started to realize that I was laying on something hard. My eye brows furrowed and I turned my head a bit to only be tickled by something that smelled really sweet. I sneezed making my eyes fly open. My heart jumped out of my chest when I saw where I was.

I was laying in the middle of what seemed like a field. There was really tall grass and beautiful assertions of flowers every where. It was night time, probably around nine or ten at night. I lifted my face to look at the moon which looked more like a shiny clipped toe nail while the glittering stars shined around the moon keeping it company. My eyes sparkled In amazement at how many stars there were in the sky. There were so many and the moon was soo bright that it lit up the air around me as if someone had a really big dim flash light they were holding above the earth.

I scratched my nose a bit while I looked around, the spot where the long soft grass tickled me earlier still itched a bit. My eyes wandered while my long finger worked on my upper lip. My finger stopped lightly scratching my irritated skin when I remembered the water color picture that was framed in my hospital room back in Vermont.

"I think I'm in Heaven." I thought out loud before standing up and looking down at my bare legs that shivered a bit from the cool air that whirled by once in a while. My eyes trailed up my body and my hands tried to smooth out my wrinkled and very uncomfortable hospital gown.

I sighed a bit before running my hands across the tops of the long spades of grass, thinking for a moment.

"Maybe I'm not dead.." I thought while looking around. "Everything seems so real," I then looked down at my gross hospital gown. "And I'm still wearing this.." I droned off, not really knowing what to think.

"Maybe I'm having a dream." I thought while turning around, and walking through the field, my bare feet feeling every worm, plant, and speck of dirt while they squeezed between my toes and tickled the soul of my feet.

"No, everything is too...Vivid, too real to be a dream." I thought while I continued to fuss my way through the beautiful field, letting the moon and stars light guide me..well as much as they could, they were just there for light they cant really help me find my way back home.

I wondered around aimlessly through the huge field while my mind thought up explanations of why I was running around in the field late at night instead of in the hospital dead. That's when I stopped walking and I ran my hands over my arms and then lightly smacked my face, realizing something.

My arms weren't all skinny and gross now and my cheeks seem to actually be a little bit chubby like they used to be. I smiled noticing that the weakness i used to have in my muscles was gone. I then reached up and ran my fingers through my short brown hair. It wasn't greasy, thin and frail like it was yesterday. It was now clean, very thick, and softer then velvet. My eyes watered a bit before they spilled over and I started to giggle until I couldn't take it anymore and I broke out into a mixture of sobs and laughter.

I don't really know why I was laughing or crying. I think it's just the fact I haven't felt this way since I was in sixth grade. I was so happy I cant even begin to explain the way my body felt. I roughly wiped away the tears with my fisted [is that a word?] hands as the large salty balls of water fell freely from my squishy eyes without my permission.

I wish my mother and little brother could be here right now. I know my mother would be crying and laughing as well while she watched me chase my ten year old brother around through the grass throwing silly little threats at him before he tripped over a random rock and I snuck up on him, capturing him in my arms like i used to. My smile turned into a sad one and I bowed my head to look down at my dirty feet, wiggling my toes letting everything soak in while I tried to except the fact that I was definitely dead and in Heaven.

"When people told me about Heaven they said you weren't supposed to feel sad anymore, you were supposed to be happy all the time." I thought quietly while lifting my head and eyeing what seemed to be a small house on top of a large hill. I sighed a bit while starting to trudge my way through the cold grass again, the air whipping around my face trying to kindly dry my tears.

"Oh how I wish I could go back and tell those bible freaks how wrong they were." I said while kicking some grass then folding my arms across my chest, trying to keep in whatever warmth I had left at the moment before I reached that small house at the top of that hill.

...

Out of breath I stood at the front door of this pretty little house at the top of a humongous hill. I probably looked horrible by now. My hair is badly knotted, my gown has gross smelly grass stains on them that looked like a baby puked on me and my feet looked more like they were made out of mud rather than skin.

"Maybe I have to embark on some difficult adventure before I'm sent to Heaven?" I thought before loudly knocking on the front door a few times. While I waited for the person who was running down the stairs to open the door I tried to get out some knots in my hair and rub off some of the grass stains along with rubbing my feet against my legs trying to get the clumps of dirt off my feet but it only relocated some of the dirt onto my long smooth legs getting them dirty. I groaned a bit in frustration before the door opened to reveal a really pretty girl with long blond hair and blue eyes staring at me with wide shocked eyes.

The girl opened the door a bit more, silently letting me in with out a question. I nodded my head as a thanks before trying to wipe off some more dirt before I went inside so I didn't get their house too dirty.

I slowly walked in and was greeted by an old fat dog that looked like he wanted to bark but he just didn't feel like it. I nodded at the dog like I did to the girl before turning around and looking at her again but this time my eyes went wide with shock. She looked exactly like Winry from FMA..I mean it could just be a coincidence but the house did look awfully familiar too...

Winry, uh I mean the girl I just met ran into the kitchen then came back into the door way where I was standing a minute later with a few warm wash cloths in her hand and a bowl of warm water. Winry set the bowl down on the kitchen table so I walked over and took a seat at the chair she pulled out for me. I grabbed one of the wash cloths and went over my face first letting the warm cloth comfort me until it got slightly cold so I set the cloth down then grabbed another and started to work on my legs.

The girl/Winry placed the rag I used on my face in the hot steaming water to get it wet and ready for me to use again. I smiled at the girl as a thank you before placing the rag I used on my legs in the bowl, taking the other rag out of her hand.

I then moved onto my feet wrapping the warm cloth around my freezing skin making me jump a bit. I would of though since the cloth was nice and hot it would of warmed my feet quickly but since my feet were ice it made me skin sting a bit and feel cold while I quickly rubbed the dirt off my foot then placed the rag into the bowl, grabbing another cloth and then working on getting the dirt out from between my toes.

Once my one foot was done I grabbed another rag and went to work on my other foot, feeling a bit awkward with this girl sitting here looking at me as if I were crazy.

"...If you don't mind me asking I would like to know what happened to you..." The girl asked silently but she still made me jump from the sudden question. I let out a small sigh, thinking of what to tell the girl while I finished off my foot then sat up to examine her with my confused eyes.

"Aren't I in Heaven?" I asked making the girl stare at me with an expressionless face before she broke out into laughter. I furrowed my eye brows in annoyance while I let the rag drop into the bowl making some of the now lukewarm and muddy water splash out at hit the girl in the face.

Winry/psychotic girl wiped her face with her sleeve while still giggling.

"Where did you hear that one from?" The girl asked making me only puff my cheeks full of air in frustration.

"Well, after dying in the hospital then waking up and finding yourself asleep in the middle of a field I believe you would think the same thing." I said rudely while crossing my arms and turning my head away from the stupid girl to look at some books that were lined up nicely in a small wooden book shelf, pretending to take interest in them but not really wanting to know what the were about because they looked boring.

The girl suddenly stopped laughing and she was quiet for a moment making me shift in the awkward air that was floating around us.

"You mean, you're really telling the truth?" The girl asked and I sighed a bit, turning around to look at her.

"I have no clue where I am and I just want to go home." I told the girl making her give me an apologetic stare, suddenly Grandpa M went through my mind. That was the same look he gave me the night before I died...I wonder how he's doing?..If he's okay?

My eyes fell to the floor and I nodded a bit before leaning down and rubbing some left over dirt off of my big toe.

"Could you tell me where I am?" I asked quietly before adverting my eyes from my toes to this girl.

"Of course, right now you're In Resembool." My eyes went a little wide and I sat up in my chair. Resembool is where Winry lives, I thought before nodding.

"So where do you live?" Winry asked me while tilting her head into the palm of her hand that was supported by her arm that was propped up on the table.

I looked down for a moment before looked back up at the waiting Winry. I knew it was her it had to be or else I'm going crazy, no erase that I already am going crazy.

"I'm from Vermont, it's in the United states.." I droned off when I saw the confused look Winry was giving me.

"I've never heard of The-United-States." She said the last part slowly trying to remember what I said. My mouth opened and my eyes gave off a dull look.

"I'm dreaming." I said before getting up.

"What? You're not dreaming, I don't know what you're talking about?" WInry said while getting up as well and following me to the door.

"Oh no believe me I'm dreaming. There is no way in hell you don't know where the United States is! I must be dreaming. If I'm not then I have no clue where I am or, or what I'm going to do!" Winry grabbed my shoulder and lead me back to the table where I was sitting before I broke out into craziness.

"Maybe you should just sit down-" Winry said while pushing me down into the chair but I cut her off before she could finish her sentence.

"How can I end up in my favorite anime world!" I yelled making Winry furrow her eyebrow at me her mouth slighly open.

"Well uh-" "You're Winry Rockbell right? And you live with Pinako? Ed and Al come and visit you unexpectedly and every time they do you always hit them with your wrench you magically pull out of no where! Where can you possibly hide that thing!" I yelled before I broke down into hysterical crying leaving Winry standing there, astonished while she slowly rubbed my back.

"Well maybe you should get some sleep, um I have and extra bedroom and you're well uh more than welcome to stay if you would like...We can talk more in the morning it's almost midnight." Winry offered and I nodded my head before standing up and following her up stairs and into a pretty bedroom.

Winry gave me a crazy look before quietly closing the door while I trudged over to the comfy looking bed, still wearing my hospital gown while I flopped down on the bed and buried my face into the feathery pillow.

"I'm so confuseeeedd." I cried before curling up into a ball and then going to sleep, all that crying wore me out.

Hey I'm so happy I got a review yay! I love you so very much Kebechet you're freaking awesome! I have a few chapter already written and I decided after seeing your review I should put this next one up!


	3. Chapter 3

AHHH WARNING THIS HAS A SPOILER!

ah well anyways I don't own FMA at all because if I did well I would not be writing this now would I ;)

When I finally woke up it was around twelve in the afternoon. my legs were halfway on the bed and my hair was even more knotted than it was yesterday. Sighing I regretted not brushing my hair out before I collapsed but what can I do now? I tugged on my hair while I looked around the room recalling what happened last night. My eyes turned into slits and my mouth into a fine line.

"Oh gosh Winry probably thinks I'm psycho." I said before getting up from the bed letting my warm feet touch the cold and hard wood ground. I slightly moved one of my feet away from a splinter that was stick up from a wood panel while I straightened out my hospital gown hoping that Winry had some clothes I could borrow along with a bathroom and a toothbrush.

I sighed again feeling a little bit more refreshed in the head, of course my body wont feel too refreshed because I've been wearing the same thing for three days. grosssss.

I silently walked across the room over to the door, resting my hand on the brass door knob. My hand rested there for a while. I really wanted to open the door but my stomach was churning with nervousness and my body wouldn't move.

Now I had no clue why I was nervous...Maybe it had to do with the fact that I died then somehow ended up staying at my anime crushes house...yeah I think that's it.

I mentally punched myself before swiftly opening the door while my mind was too fogged up to protest. Next I quietly slithered down the hallways, feeling completely out of place while I tried not to step on an squeaky looking steps on the stairs while I quickly, but quietly walked down the stairs then peeped around the corner, my rats nest falling in my face while I saw Winry standing in the kitchen, talking to someone.

"Yeah I don't know what's up with her! She claims she is from somewhere like the undivided slates or something then starts to cry her eyes out while she spits out my whole history with you guys! I didn't even tell her my name and she already knows it!" My eyes widened when I realized who she must be talking to.

My face went red with embarrassment and at the same time I tried to keep in a fan girl scream that was crawling up my throat.

'Edward, and Alphonse Elric are standing only a few feet away from me, and to top it all off they are talking about me!'

I screamed in my head before leaning back around the corner and grasping my heart through my chest. My cheeks went redder, ignoring the fact about how they are really talking about how psychotic I am, but hey! They are talking about me none the less!

"I will talk with her later on when she wakes up, thanks for calling me out here Winry." Edwards voice rang through my mind making my eyes swirl with excitement, but it was soon cut short when I felt a nubby hand poke my shoulder and a cold voice replace Ed's soft and amazing voice, causing me to scream at the top of my lungs then fall over onto my butt. My bottom squished onto the floor very uncomfortably and my hospital gown rode up my pale legs a bit. My face went slightly red with embarrassment before I shot my head up to look at Pinako who was giving me a menacing look.

The old hag started down at me with an amused smile while her doggy slowly woke up from its resting place by the door to see what was going on before laying its head back down on the wooden floor and dozing back off again.

"Oh my gosh you scared the hell outta me!" I yelled while I tried to regulate my breathing but I had no such luck. Pinako laughed her low and weird little grandma laugh before hobbling her way around me and into the kitchen.

My mind swirled around in confusion for a bit before I realized that there were other people living in this house. My face flushed red and my eyes squeezed shut from once again the embarrassment that seems to really like me right now.

I swallowed a lump in my throat before slowly turning my head to the direction where I believe I could feel every body's stares coming from. My eyes stayed closed for a few more seconds before my eye lids opened and my hazel orbs took in the sight of a concerned Winry, and Al, and of course a highly amused Ed whose eyes were slowly tacking in my train wreck.

My face turned even redder when my poopy brown (1) eyes met his beautiful golden orbs once they were done traveling up my dirty attire.

"H-Hey guys, what's up." I said while trying to pull my hospital gown farther to try and cover up some dirt I missed last night feeling as if that small speck of dirt that they probably couldnt see was as big as a watermelon.

Winry ran over to me and helped me up. I nodded my head at her before adverting my eyes to anywhere but the people in the room.

"Hey uh, I was wondering if you had some cloths and a bathroom I could borrow..." I said while tucking some of my frizzy light brown hair behind one of my ears. Winry nodded at me before turning to look at Ed and Al.

"Hey I'll be right back." Al nodded and Ed just watched while Winry lead me upstairs and into a bathroom. She turned on the shower for me before leaving the bathroom, disappearing behind the wall then returning only moments later with an old baby blue sweatshirt, underwear, and some black leggings she had.

I thanked Winry before she left, closing the door behind her so I could take a shower. I sighed a bit before turning around and looking into the mirror. Tears gathered in my eyes when I saw how terrible I looked.

I chocked back a sob while I examined my puffy eyes and red nose from crying so much last night. I swatted at my hair that was sticking out in every other direction then I about screamed when I saw that the grass stains that were resting on my gown were not a puke green anymore but a diarrhea brownish green now.

I slumped to the floor and watched while the steam floated around the air and stuck to the mirror creating condensation.

Edward probably thinks I'm ugly! I screamed in my mind before stripping what little I had then climbing my way into the shower. I slightly relaxed while the thousands of little beads hit my body and started to wash away the dirt I had left on me. I sighed, thinking about how Edward already likes Winry and how Ed proposes to Winry later on in the manga meaning that I Gina, Mary, Jason would never have a chance with the hero of all people with the stellar eyes.

(1) I'm not saying brown eyes are poopy looking! I have brown eyes so dont take it the wrong way!

Well other than that I really enjoyed writing this. I just had to throw edward in the story even thought it's only the third chapter...

Please review! I would love the help! And thank you to those who took their time to review my story! You guys really motivate me to write more!

THANK YOU EVERYBODY!


	4. Chapter 4

This is a pathetic excuse for a chapter but please bare with me! There is an explanation at the bottom of the page on why I was late. Please review you guys motivate me to write more and I PROMISE the next chapter will be like hecka long!

After a long and boring shower I changed into the clothes Winry gave me. My frown turned into a slight smile at the feeling of the clothes on my body. I haven't worn regular clothes like this for four years, this was the thought I had while I reluctantly trudged downstairs and into the hallway that leads to the kitchen. I stood there with my hands clasped in front of me while my foot twisted on the wood floor and I played with the end of the sweat shirt. I don't know why I was doing this..I think it has to do with the fact that I want Ed to think I'm cute after he saw me look my worst in front of him.

Everybody in the kitchen went quiet and adverted their gazes to me. I took in a breath before walking into the kitchen, over to Winry then smiling. Winry blushed a little bit which made my eyes glint with the thought of a battle. Winry be prepared for a competition. I, Ginga Mary Jason plan on beating your pretty little arse to the ground if that's what it takes to win Ed over.

"Uh, thanks for letting me borrow some clothes..They feel great, I haven't worn anything but a hospital gown for four years." Hehehe it's time to pull the guilt card. I smirked a bit when I saw Winry look at me surprised for a moment before her eyes softened, I also saw Al give me an apologetic look from out of the corner of my eye.

"But you don't look sick to me." Ed said mater o factly which made my eyes narrow slightly before I turned to him and smiled.

"Well I have no clue why but when I came to uh, your world I seemed to be perfectly healthy." I told Ed my Facade disappearing for a moment. I really hope he believes me.

"I know that Winry probably has already told you my story..and I know it sounds crazy but," I looked down at the floor feeling a little bit hurt at the fact that Ed didn't even look like he believed me but believe me somehow some way, I will make Edward Elric believe me!

"But please!" I quickly turned my head up to Edward and Alphonse and gave them pleading eyes.

"Please believe me!" I yelled, slightly begging. Ed's eyes went slightly wide before they softened.

"Well uh..." Ed droned off and I remembered that I forgot to tell them my name. My eyes widened from shock. Wow how rude can I be? I barge into Winry's house, I go completely crazy in front of Winry, then sleep in her house, use her shower, borrow her clothes, and then think up plans on how to steal her man.

"Gigna! I'm Ginga Jason." I told them and their eyes furrowed. My name is very rare, and probably like..Extinct in this world.

"Well Ginga I would like to take you to central so I can turn you into Roy Mustang, the colonel." My eyes widened and I cocked my head a bit.

"What?" I asked not believing that Edward would turn me in just so I could be locked up again for who knows how long.

Edward copied me by cocking his head also giving me a fake confused face as if saying 'Was I not clear?' My mouth widened and I covered my hole with my long fingers. Wow when I pictured Ed I thought he would be all nice and stuff like in the Manga's and Anime's but gee was I wrong! Maybe it's just me?

"I uh." I didn't know what to say. I was hoping that me coming here would of set me free not lock me up again so I could just be experimented on like some alien!..Well I guess I am an alien, I mean I did come from a different world. BUT WHY! I'm human! I'm exactly like everyone else in this room!...I mean other than I can't use alchemy and I've never had my sould attatched to armor before but Why should I be treated differently!

I shook my head a bit and everyone in the room gave me queer looks from the amusing image of me having a mental argument with my self.

No I can't freak out now..I don't even know what they are going to do with me..I will just ask Ed and Al on the train to the way to Central what is going to happen more in depth. I nodded my head agreeing with my self before adverting my eyes to look at Ed, I slightly nodded my head again though I still wasnt sure.

"Okay." I said before turning around and heading back up stairs to the room I spent the night in. I walked through the hallways that seemed like they were narrowing in on me. I walked into 'my' room silently closing the door then walking over to the bed, my feeting silently pat pat patting on the ground before I sat down.

I ran my toes over the cool wood and jumped when my foot was pricked by the sliver that I tried to avoid this morning when I woke up. While a small bead of blood formed where the wood poked me my head fell to my chest and I started to reflect on how much has happened in only a few hours...When this is over I should totally write a book on all of my adventures, I thought before picking up my hospital gown that was placed on my bed i dunno how but somehow it ended up in here. Pinako must have folded it them put it in here for me. How nice.

I was too caught up in my thoughts I didn't realize that Edward opened my door and stood in the doorway, watching me while I smiled a bit as I ran my hands over the plasticy [is that a word?] fabric. Tears gathered in the sides of my eyes while my smooth skin ran over the grape juice stain I forgot I had on the bottom of the gown. I got this stain when I first met grandpa M. He was cracking stupid jokes while I was drinking some grape juice that I got from a vending machine earlier. [I also got one for him but he said he would save it for later.] Grandpa M was telling another joke about the nurses and it made me laugh so hard that I spilled the sticky dark purple liquid on my gown. My mom tried to get the stain out but it was too stubborn.

My ugly laugh escaped my mouth a bit, making the salty balls fall smoothly down my milky skin that rested on my face and onto my hands that were shaking with my pathetic cries. I was always such a cry baby. But now that I think about it, the small and stupid memories are always the most precious.

"I wish I could go home." I said in between cries.

Never in my life I thought I would say such a thing. That hospital used to be such hell for me, but at least I had people that loved me there. Over here in this world with The Elrics and Winry even though I know them nobody in this world nows me, and that scared me to death.

Ed's POV [OMG YEEEESSSS(btw this is a rare occurrence so don't get used to it..sorry)]

I walked up the stairs of Winry's house, thinking about that strange girl Ginga. She looked normal but I think her brain was messed up. I sighed a bit at the thought of traveling with her to central. It will take like a week to get to Central and I'm afraid of what she will do within that time period. I rolled my eyes a bit before knocking lightly on Ginga's door. I waited for a moment and when I heard no reply I cracked open the door to see her sitting on her bed stroking the gown she was wearing earlier rather...lovingly. I was about to walk in but I froze in my spot when I saw she started to cry...Did I make her cry? I suddenly felt really bad but my heart about cracked in two when I heard her try and keep her sobs quiet but was failing miserably.

"I wish I could go home." I could barely make out what she said but sadly she said it loud enough for me to hear. That is the moment when I Edward Elric started to develop a soft spot for the psychotic Ginga Jason.

Well I hope you like it. I hate cry baby characters so I tried really hard not to make it too cry cry cry but hey if I died then ended up in a world where nobody knew me and people thought I was crazy I think I would have a way worse reaction.

Well please review

I'M REALLY SORRY THIS IS LATE. I GOT HOME FROM SCHOOL TODAY AT THREE THEN I FELL ASLEEP BEACAUSE I WAS EXAUGHSTED THEN I WOKE UP AND I HAD TO GO TO CHURCH! I PROMISE THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE REALLY LONG!


	5. Chapter 5

I swear I don't own FMA.

I sat in my room for a while, thinking about a lot of stuff, most of it being about home and if will ever go back. I rubbed my puffy eyes with the sweatshirt I was wearing only making my eyes more soar. I groaned a bit before I heard a small knock on my door. I jumped a bit in my place and my heart quickened for a moment.

"Uh, Come in!" I yelled at the door and it slowly opened to an Edward. I smiled at him and he stood there in my door way his long pony tail glimmering from the small amount of light that was seeping into my room from the window and making Edwards face glow.

"Come on were going to leave for Central now." I nodded my head my stomach feeling a bit queasy. But really what have I got to loose? Exactly, nothing except my life which really means nothing to me right now, besides I'm supposed to be dead anyways.

I stood up from the bed which groaned a bit from the release of my body pressure. I walked over to Ed, death gripping my gown hoping he wouldn't take it away from me.

"Thank you." I told him before walking past him, my shoulder brushing his which made my stomach tingle. This is the first time Ive touched Edward, and hopefully there will be many more times to come...Maybe even we will get used to the way each others skin feels? I shook my head a bit while walking down the stairs, almost loosing my balance.

No that would never happen. Besides I have to leave Edward and Al sometime, and that time will probably be when we reach central. My body slouched in slight disappointment. Maybe me and Edward just weren't made for each other? Maybe there is somebody else out there in this world that I can feel a connection with? I thought before walking into the living room where I spotted winry from the top of the stairs.

I stood in front of the beautiful girl and slightly bowed my head. My father was Japanese and taught me some traditions that have stuck with me since, well, forever.

"Thank you for everything Winry. I'm really sorry that I came into you house then acted all psychotic and stuff." I said while lifting my head to look at her face which was giving me a friendly smile.

"Don't worry about it. Come and visit whenever you can! You look like lots of fun and it gets really lonely around here!" My eyes went a little wide with shock. I didn't know Winry would want me back in her house, but I pushed that to the back of my head for now and just gave her a nice smile and a nod of the head.

"Sure thing." I told her then turned around and faced Edward. I eyed them for a moment while the got their shoes on and then my face went red with embarrassment.

"Wow um Winry I've already took a lot from you but do you think I could borrow some shoes? I will give all your stuff back as soon as I come and visit!" I pleaded Winy. I know that if I go to Central with the Elrics and they turn me into the Military I might never come back to Risembool, but with me borrowing something, having something that will tie me to Risembool I'm hoping that one day I can come back and never leave again.

"Oh sure! I have some old shoes that don't fit me...Uh they might be a little tight." Winry warned be before running to the shoe closet then digging around. Shoes flew across the room, almost hitting Ed and Al a few times before she pulled out an old pare of black sneakers. I walked over to Winry and took them from her, bending down and slipping them on. I wiggled my toes around and moved my feet a few times before smiling.

"Just my luck they seem to be my size." Winry gave me a bright smile before roughly patting me on my back. I lunged forward a bit, still a little unfamiliar with my body and how much strength I had.

"Well you guys better be on your way or else you will be late!" Winry said while pushing us out the door. Ed rolled his eyes and Al smiled back at Winry.

"Be sure you visit more often and make sure you call next time!" Winry said loudly, her voice a bit stern. Ed just ignored it though and brushed her off.

"Yeah, Yeah we know, right Al?" Al nodded then waved goodbye. "Yeah we will make sure to call!" Winry nodded then looked at me.

"Make sure you don't kill her." My eyes went a little wide.

"W-Wha-"

"You worry too much Winry!" Ed yelled before grabbing my upper arm then dragging me away. I blushed a bit from the sudden contact before snapping my head from Ed to Al then back to Ed.

"She's not serious? Right?" I asked quietly but the two just stayed quiet giving me the answer I totally was not looking for.

...

After a while of walking through town Edward let go of my arm, letting the cold air whip uncomfortably around my skin through the some what warmed fabric.

"So Ginga." I turned my head to look at Al who was jogging over to my side. I nodded my head, telling him I was listening.

"Since you're from another world...well I was just wondering what it was like?" My face flushed a little bit, I've never really noticed how cute Al really is..And he's my age...I've never been really good with boys because I've always been locked up in that Damned hospital for four years and it tends to lack Ed's and Al's or any cute boys at that.

"W-Well uh I come from Vermont, it's a state located in The United States of America." Al's eyes shimmered with interest and I could of sworn I saw Ed's ears perk up a bit. I smiled a bit feeling a bit comfortable with the fact that they were interested and what makes it even better is the fact that they are interested in my life, which luckily is a pretty well known topic for me.

"Over in my world it's 2011 and everybody is going crazy because they think the world is going to end in 2012 because of some ancient calendar called the mayan calendar. I personally think it's stupid." Al's mouth fell open and he about exploded full of questions revolving around the year 2012 but the only one I caught was the last one he asked.

"What is 2012 like?" Al asked. I looked at Al for a moment trying to ponder ways on how to answer his question. When I opened my mouth to speak I noticed Al moved his body closer to me, ready to listen and learn. My face flushed red and I turned my head to the ground suddenly gaining interest in the random rocks that were spread out on the dirt road we were walking down.

"W-well it's uh it's cool I guess...We have safer cars and bigger boats..We even have planes which are like really big cars with wings on them and they can fly in the air..I've only been on a plane once and it's pretty cool. Though when you first take off it's pretty scary because you feel like your going to fall."

Al's eyes sparkled and Ed snickered, he probably thinks I'm making this up.

"Wow that's amazing! I wish I could go on a plane!" I smiled a bit suddenly wishing I could just take the sweet and innocent Al back with me to my world. Ed?..well he doesn't seem to really like me..

"What else is there?" Al asked me eagerly and I laughed a bit.

"Well they invented T.V. which is like a radio but it has pictures to go along with the words." Al's smile widened and he looked up at the sky, wondering what this 'awesome' world would be like.

"They invented a lot of other things like computers, and cell phones, stop lights, and lots of other cool things." Al's smile grew and he looked at me like he wanted to know what all those things were, but I was just waaayyy to lazy to explain everything in my world.

"Wow your world sounds amazing." Al said and Ed slightly nodded in agreement. I smiled a bit at the fact that Ed was actually listening to me but the thought didn't last long because all the bad memories that I have from my world flooded my mind.

"Well, everything has their ups and downs...personally I've had more downs than ups but maybe me coming here will help me?" I thought mostly to my self but Al and Ed stared at me for a moment pondering what I said.

"My world I think is on its way to financial corruption. So many people are losing their jobs, tuns of natural disasters are happening and ruining thousands of places, killing hundreds. Radiation is killing people right now over in my world in some places. There are a few places that were actually abandoned because of the radiation that will take years and years to go away."

Al's radiant glow that was flooding out of his nose seemed to disappear and Ed just turned his head to look at me. His eyes studying my face, trying to figure out if I was lying or not.

"But my world never really seemed to be a happy place for me. I mean sure I had some good times, and my mom and little brother are probably crying their eyes out right now but I just don't think I could of dealt with being in the hospital for any longer." Al nodded his head, as if saying, 'I don't understand, but I do.'

"Well maybe you were originally supposed to be created in this world?" Ed contributed to the conversation, making me jump a bit from surprise before I shifted my head from Al to Ed.

"You think so?" I asked. I mean his explanation does kind of make since.

"You said when you woke up here you felt better, you weren't sick anymore right?" I nodded my head, waiting for Ed to continue.

"Well maybe you were some what 'recreated' and sent to the world you were supposed to be in originally. Maybe that's why you were so sick in your old world. Your body wasn't 'made' for 'Vermont' so when you seized to exist in the other world you were remade then put in your rightful place..How? I don't know."

I stopped walking and let my hazel eyes examine Edwards serious golden eyes. Even though the whole thought that I wasn't supposed to be born in my world with my mother, Jacob, and Grandpa M, but it this world with Al, Winry, and Edward makes me feel sick to my stomach but for some reason, Ed makes me feel like everything is going to be okay. That life is just dealing me another card, hoping that I can play the game right this time.

Well I hope you liked it! Please Review all the feed back and positive comments I get from you guys fire up something in my soul that make me want to write! Cheesy enough? I THINK NOT!

Well anyways much thanks to those who have reviewed my story so far.

I LOVE YOU GUYS!


	6. Chapter 6

The three of us walked in silence the rest of the way to the train station. The brothers knew not to bother me at the moment while I was thinking about what Ed had to say. The topic was too fragile and if anybody said the slightest thing the wrong way, my whole soul would shatter into thousands of sharp foggy pieces that no one could put back together.

My mind wandered back to what Ed first said 'Not made for my old world'...This thought was so frightening to me. What if I wasn't made for this world either? What if it was just a coincidence that I ended up in this world? What if I end up dying here? What would happen then?

I shook my head a bit, my brown short hair slightly brushing against my reddened cheeks from the cold weather. I sighed while so many questions swirled around in my mind, I was completely lost and the worst part is that I don't know the answers to barely even a third of the questions I've thought up. I now officially had no clue what to do anymore, but then again it's not like I knew what to do in the first place..Ugh! I just need to calm down! It's only the first day...I have a feeling a lot is going to happen in only a short period of time though, and I don't think I'm emotionally stable for anything big to happen yet..Curse me and my crazy emotions, they make life so much more difficult then it needs to be.

I adverted my eyes from the ground to look at Al. He was on my left side and was smiling at people as they walked by. At the moment I was very jealous of him. He seemed so care free, like nothing wrong was going on in the world and it would seem that even if the world was being taken over by zombies he would be the calm, collected, and optimistic guy that made you feel like the world wasn't infested with zombies even though it was.

I smiled a bit, giggling at the thought which made Al side glance at me. His eyes stared at me for a moment, his cheeks turning a light pink before his lips curled up into a small smile. Al looked so cute right now, which unfortunately made me blush a rosy red.

My face held a slightly shocked, and embarrassed look so I quickly turned my eyes to the ground letting my brown hair fall slightly over my face, hoping that Al didn't think I was weird.

Al laughed a bit which only made my face turn a darker red. It was silent for a moment until I heard Ed snort a bit my eyes went wide before I shifted my eyes to look up at Ed, my head still slightly bent down. Ed felt my gaze so he looked down at me, his beautiful, rare eyes giving me an emotionless stare that lasted for only moment before he switched his eyes to the road ahead of us.

I though kept my eyes on Ed. Gee he probably thinks I like Al, I thought before letting out a small sigh, my blush now completely gone while my mind started to create more questions, and what ifs, until we reached the train station.

Our shoes made a weird, but some what nice sound on the dirt while our feet skidded slightly on the dirt and rocks as we stopped.

"Well why don't you and Al go wait by the train, I'll go get us some tickets." Ed said before trudging off to the ticket booth. I watched Ed while he talked to the lady at the window before sighing then turning my head to Al whose gaze was already on me. My cheeks went red for a moment until Al smiled at me then nodded his head towards a train where we were supposed to be waiting.

I slightly nodded my head before my mind told my feet to move in the direction Al was heading toward. We walked for only a minute and within seconds we were standing in front of the train.

My eyes wandered over the large, metal rusty old train, suddenly feeling a bit afraid of boarding that thing..Is it safe? I shook my head a bit trying to erase those thoughts from my mind, I was always a very paranoid person.

So I stood there next to Al and looked around us at all the different types of people. Most of them were wearing 1900's clothes which made me smile. When I was younger and I read American girl books I always wished I could go back in time and live in the 1900's and well look where I am now...I guess my wish came true?

"Have you rode a train before?" Al asked me probably noticing how nervous I was. I snapped out my thoughts and turned my head away from the lovely looking people so I could look at the gorgeous Al, though I still think Ed is more handsome.

"No...Is it fun?" I asked which made Al chuckle a bit.

"Well I wouldn't say fun but it's nice to watch the scenery go by out the window, I'll make sure you get a seat by a window so don't worry!" Al told me with a smile.

I stared at Al for a moment before my cheeks gathered together and I gave him a big smile, letting my dimples form in my cheeks right when Ed came over to us.

Ed looked from me to Al before raising an eyebrow then holding out a ticket to each one of us. My smile faded away and I looked down at the small worn piece of paper in Edwards hand. I reached my hand out and gently took the paper out his long fingers. I looked at the ticket for a moment before I lifted the paper to my face trying to read the letters that were printed in big fat black letters, the ink slightly coming off onto my hand while I rubbed the ink with my thumb.

After a few minutes of examining the paper ticket out of boredom I looked up to see that Ed and Al were laughing and talking about something. I smiled a bit, remembering all the good times Ive read that they have had.

Maybe it's best if I don't see them after they drop me off at central? I thought, my eyes squinting a bit while I thought about this. My eyes dropped to the ticket in my hand and I started to feel even worse. My whole life I've just been a burden to people.

My mother worked 24/7 trying to pay for all the hospital bills, my brother was constantly worried about me even though he was ten and I felt horrible at how people teased him at school about having a sick sister. The hospital seemed to be tired of me, seeing that I have a some what short temper when I'm tired and I was always going against the rules, sneaking out of my room when I wasn't supposed to and what not.

My mind then wandered to my father. He died a month after I had to go to the hospital. He got into a car crash on his way home from work and was killed instantly. I tried to hold back the bitter feeling of tears while I made a list of all the people I've been a burden to.

My mom and dad

my brother

my grandparents

My friends

Grandpa M.

The hospital

The nurses

Winry

Alphonse

Edward

Myself

And this is just the beginning of the list. I sighed a bit, crumpling the small ticket in my hand while I silently cursed myself for my pathetic excuse of a life. I shouldn't be allowed to be called family or a friend. I'm constantly making people worry and I just make work harder for them, and then I go and die on everyone making all their efforts go to waste...Maybe it's better this way though.

I looked up from my ticket at the two brothers who were laughing and poking fun at each other, their happy faces burning disgusting holes in my heart.

"Maybe, it will be better this way.." I whispered before following the brothers onto the train, hoping that central will come soon.

The song I was listening to while I was writing this is Inside of love by Nada Surf! Yes I Love this song! Haha and I was very bored so I made the little picture for you...I have no clue if you can see it or not, but I hope you can I put time into that damn thing!

Thanks for all the reviews so far! I love all the advice, feed back, and the occasional positive comment!


	7. Chapter 7

The three of us sat on the train. I was nervously sitting by the window, just like Al promised. I looked down at my hands trying to stop them from shaking. Truthfully I've always been afraid of any type of transportation since my father died from a car accident. Luckily when I was place in the hospital it was very, very rare I got to even step out of the building so I was never really afraid of having to drive anywhere, but when it was necessary I was scared out of my mind. I was always alert, watching all around me and I swore I was never going to get my license. Besides I never saw a need for one since I was always in my hospital bed, bored out of my mind.

I sighed a shaky breath before crossing my legs, bouncing my left leg that rested on my right up and down, taking in another uneven breath. Al gave me a worried look and Ed just stared at me before placing one of his hands on my hand, trying to steady my shaking.

"What's wrong?" Ed asked me and I shook my head.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it." I said, not really wanting them to worry about me anymore then they already have to. Edward gave me a pathetic look before looking at Al who sighed a bit.

"Cut the crap we know something is wrong." I looked at Ed for a moment before looking down at our hands, sighing again.

"My father got into a car accident and died when I was younger, since then I've always been afraid of any type of transportation with wheels." Ed looked at Al and they both as if on Que gave me apologetic looks. I mentally rolled my eyes, I've had enough of pity I need to toughen up! Yeah what kind of story would this be if I were to write it out later on! I don't want it be portrayed as some whiny timid girl who counts on people to save her! NO! I'm going to save myself!

I glared at Ed a bit, not really enough for him to notice, before I brushed his hand off of mine and looked out the window.

"I'll be fine don't worry about it, I have to get over my fear sooner or later." Edward slowly nodded his head before turning and shrugging his shoulders at Al.

After my weird Bipolar change of attitude it was pretty much quiet for a while. I mean there is really nothing to do on a train so lets just say boredom was kicking in.

I took a side glance at Ed who magically pulled out a book and was reading, I rolled my eyes a tad with a smile. It's so like Ed to do that. I then looked over at Al who I think is asleep. I smiled at how cute he looked with his mouth slightly open, his dark eyelashes resting on his rosy cheeks, and if you listened close enough you could hear the air quietly being pushed in and out of his mouth, creating a soothing rhythm.

I closed my eyes and let Al's breathing sooth me for a moment before I started to feel sleepy. I reluctantly pried open my heavy eyes. I will not fall asleep. I'm basically alone with Ed and I will not throw that opportunity away!

I wiped the sleep out of my eyes before rolling my head around to look at Ed who was too drawn into his book to realize my eyes taking in him adoringly. So what if I'm a stalker at the moment? Edward is my hero and I want to take in everything about him. I want to know everything [even though I basically already do I want him to tell me his past, along with other things I don't know about him] I want to memorize where all his beauty marks are, I want to burn the image of his silky golden hair falling in his face while his hand held his chin as he read into my mind. I can only imagine how many amazing ideas and thoughts are racing through his mind right now while is beautiful eyes study each word on the yellowing pages, taking it all in.

I smiled to myself and continued to study him for who knows how long till Edward finally realized I was watching him with my sleepy eyes. Ed's cheeks turned a light pink giving his silky smooth skin a little color. Ed's beautiful honey colored eyes moved to his right and held my smooth chocolaty eyes for a moment before my smile widened and my eyes that were now dreary slits closed till Ed could only see my pale eye lids and the long thick lashes that were attached to them. Not knowing that his image danced around in my eye lids and in my mind while I fell asleep.

I hope Edward will someday find a place in his heart for me, because I know he already has a placed saved special, just for him alone in mine.

Aww I hope you like that little scene on the train. Just to let you guys know this is all RAW! I don't really like to delete then replace then delete again and replace. I think it takes away the emotions I first put into what I originally wrote. I like to imagine myself as Ginga, what I would do, feel, think, say, so on so forth.

I really hope you enjoyed this super short chapter! I will try and make the next one really long!

Please review! You guys don't even know how much your comments mean to me. Every time I get a new review I do a squeal then do a little dance in my chair before I read the review like ten times. I'm not even joking I do that every time I get a review I promise on my sisters grave i'm not joking. So this just shows how much you guys mean to me! It really motivates me to write more and just to let you guys know...I DO PLAN ON FINISHING THIS STORY! I like to try and upload a chapter everyday! I look forward to writing all the other chapters. I've been thinking about the plot. But any ways I'm going to stop here or else I will keep typing!

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING AND ALL YOUR GUYS SUPPORT!


	8. Chapter 8

OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS! LAST CHAPTER! I HAVE REASON WHY AT THE END OF THE PAGE! [i don't own fma...]

I woke up on the train what seemed like hours after we sat down. Al was awake now and talking to Ed and lots of the passengers on the train were sleeping because the sky was now dark and you could find thousands of stars in the sky.

I rubbed my eyes and looked out the window, the dim lights in the train reflected off of the cold window making it somewhat hard to see out of the glass.

I sighed a bit before resting my head on the window, letting the cold glass cool down my hot skin. I regretted going to sleep so early because now I wont be able to go back to sleep and then I will be super tired in the morning. I shrugged it off though starting to not really care anymore.

I let my eyes trace some patterns in the sky for a few more moments before I turned in my seat and starting to listen to Ed's and Al's conversation.

"I really hate Roy, I don't want to have to deal with his smart ass comments." Ed said while rubbing his forehead which was creating wrinkles in his skin from his golden eyebrows furrowing at the thought of seeing Roy.

"I think everything will be fine brother, Roy isn't that bad he's actually kind of nice if you think about it." Al commented before leaning farther back into his seat, wiping some of his short gold hair out of his square face.

"Yeah whatever you say Al." Edward said in a kind of mocking tone before he also leaned back farther into his seat as well, Ed's head turning to look at me.

Ed's face turned slightly pink while his eyes skimmed over my face then stopping and examining my eyes. I have no clue why Ed was acting so weird but just the way Ed walks makes me blush so picture how red I am now.

Ed looked into my shining eyes for a few more seconds before he quickly turned his head to some old man sitting next to him on the other side of the train.

I sadly looked down at the floor from Ed being such a block head before I lifted my eyes to the window again.

My eyes looked at the moving scenery but my mind was else where.

Is it wrong to think that Ed possibly likes me too? I squeezed my eyes shut trying to get the ridiculous thought out of my thick head. There was no way Ed would even think such a thing, not until pigs fly.

I sighed again, feeling worse than I did a few seconds ago. My mind then suddenly went black and then the next thing I knew my whole body started to tingle and I felt lighter, as if my body was starting to disintegrate.

I stood up and my breaths turned into quick and short gusts of air while I started to hyperventilate. I've never felt like this before! My whole body felt as if it fell asleep and someone was tickling me and pulling my hair at the same time.

"W-what's going on!" I yelled at Ed and Al who were now standing and by my side.

"Brother!" Al gasped while he pointed to my brown hair which was a little longer than shoulder length.

I screamed [quite loudly] while my beautiful thick hair was getting shorter and shorter till it swayed just bellow my ears.

I screamed again and then started to pull at my hair, hoping that it would return to it's original length but I had no such luck.

"What's going on!" Ed yelled at me. I turned my panicked face to Ed and hand to restrain myself from slapping him from frustration.

"Like I know!" I yelled back. I then started to scream again, making all the people in the train wake up then start to gasp while they watched my body get shorter and shorter until I was as short as ed!

My beautiful long legs were now SHORT! Tears escaped my eyes that were luckily the same color before this started to happen.

"Ed make it stop!" I yelled which made him only freak out more along with Al.

"Okay you just need to calm down, here sit down," Ed pushed me onto the seat leaving one of his hands on my shoulders while taking the other hand off of my shoulder at pointing at the door then yelling at Al.

"Go get her a glass of water!" Al nodded before jumping up from his seat and sprinting out of the door that Ed was pointing to moments ago.

After Al left Ed then looked at me while I freaked out. I must of been a sight while I roughly pulled at my hair and kicked my legs hoping that the inches I lost would somehow shoot back out.

I didn't bother to wipe away tears while they fell to my lap and soaked my leggings because they were the least of my worries at the moment.

"What's going on!" I cried while pulling my hair in front of my face, trying to mask my puffy eyes and red nose from Ed.

Ed sighed a bit before placing his hands on my wrists and pulling them away from my face. My now short hair fell back to the sides of my face and I tried to pull away from Ed so I could continue my tantrum but he was way way WAY stronger than me so he had no problem holding me down..

"Don't worry, Al and I will take care of you." Once those soft words left Ed's mouth I stopped trying to pull out of Ed's hands and my feet steadied while I turned my red face to look at Eds ridiculously calm face.

How can he make me feel so calm while parts of my body just disintegrated! I opened my mouth to protest but Ed's eyes gave me a softer look, succeeding in calming me down fully this time.

My tears, and cries stopped after a moment leaving only small hiccups in their places. Ed sighed in relief before letting my wrists go and placing his hands next to him right when Al came rushing into the cart, trying hard not to spill the cold water that was slashing around in the glass.

"Here you go Ginga! I'm sorry I took so long!" I reached out my weak arms and lightly took the glass out of Al's hands, my hiccups shaking the water while I lifted the glass to my face and took large gulps of the tasteless liquid.

after guzzling down the cool water I set the cup in my lap, running my thumb around the rim of the glass, thinking. After a few minutes of silence and the other passengers calming down I asked the question everyone wanted to know the answer to.

"What's just happened?" Ed looked up at me along with Al but what scared me was the way Ed was looking at me.

Ed looked almost apologetic, and somewhat scared and a bit confused.

"I think your starting to disappear from our world Ginga."

Disappearing..that word brings so many feelings to the surface, but the biggest feeling I'm feeling right now is fright.

I'm scared.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm only 17! I've died once and I don't think I can handle dying again.

"How much more time do I have?" I whispered, not really wanting to know the answer but naturally anybody would want to know how long they had to live. Right?

Ed looked down at the floor for a moment thinking about what I had to say.

"Well," My body tightened and my head started to hurt.

"Considering you showed up in our world last night, and it hasn't even been 24 hours since you came here and you're already starting to...Disappear, you probably only have a day or two left."

My mind shut off the world draping it in black while I closed my eyes and leaned back into the chair, my head pressing against the uncomfortable seat.

I focused on the random colors that spiraled around in my eye lids, trying to forget that I even exist.

I wish I would of just died when I was supposed to. I don't belong here, and apparently I don't belong in my world either. Is there another world out there? Will I wake up to find my self where I'm supposed to be?

Pressure built up in my nose and above my eyes while I felt the tears gathering in my eyes. I pulled my knees and rested them on the seat, pulling them close to my face and silently cried into Winry's black leggings.

I was hoping I could stay here, start over, fall in love, but apparently I can't. I think life hates me.

I drew in a shaky breath and thought back to what my mother told me when I first went to the hospital.

'flash back'

"Mom I want to go home." I whined while tears welled up in my eyes. I was only twelve at the time and my small body had plenty of room on the scary hospital bed even while my mom sat next to me and brushed my light brown hair out of my face.

"I know honey, don't worry you will be able to go home soon, this is only temporary." I nodded my head, believing my mothers words even though they sounded untrue and sad.

"Why do I have to be sick?" I asked while my mother rubbed soothing circles in my arm, warming my skin.

"Every body get sick." My mother reminded me but I just sighed.

"Why am I even alive?" I asked, trying to dig deeper, hoping that if my mother told me the reason for living that I would some day be able to get out of here.

"You're very special Ginga, before you were even born god thought about you and put you in my stomach so one day he could see your beautiful smiling face." Just from the thought of God thinking about me made me smile even though tears started to fall down my face again.

I didn't really know why I was crying. I kind of felt like if I were to work really hard on a drawing and one day have it hung up in a museum, then have my father say 'that's my daughter, she drew that.' the feeling is unique and it makes you so happy that it makes you sad because you feel like you don't deserve those praises from such an amazing person.

"You need to remember Ginga that even though you are not like all the other kids at school, you are the most special out of all of them." I looked over at my mom taking in her blurry appearance.

I mentally smiled at the way my mothers golden hair shined and her golden eyes gave off a calming affect.

I hope I can get out soon, so my mom can be proud of me.

'end'

My mind repeated the sentence over and over again my mothers soothing and soft but sorrowful words still very clear in my mind 'You're very special Ginga, before you were even born god thought about you and put in my stomach so one day he could see your beautiful smiling face.' I snorted a bit while the words echoed in my head.

If god brought me here to see me smiling, then why am I so sad all the time?

"Was I a mistake?" I whispered before listening to Edward and Al move around for a moment before silence filled the air.

Everybody was quiet for a moment until Edward's soft voice lightly flew to my ears.

"Al, why don't we stay in the next town when the train stops for a few days?" Even though I couldn't see Al, I new he nodded his head.

I squeezed my eyes shut and let my mind shift back to the image of Edward when he was reading his book on the train earlier. Tears started to gather in my eyes again and my mind remembered the one person that I hated so much at the moment.

Well Winry, I guess you've won the war, and I didn't even get a chance to fight.

The next morning at seven am we got off the train and headed towards some small town called paxen [made it up] We booked a room in some three star hotel then settled in.

Earlier I shrunk another inch and my hair turned into a lighter brown, almost like my mothers hair but not quite. My feet now seemed to be a size seven instead of a size nine and I think I'm about five foot three now and I used to be five foot eight.

So basically I was in a horrible mood and felt like just disappearing already. Ed and Al wanted me to come with them to go shopping but what's the point? It's not like I'm going to be here much longer anyways.

So Ed and Al reluctantly went by themselves. They said they would be back in about two hours so I waited about twenty minutes after they left before I exited the hotel, locking our room then heading out into the village, towards a field of flowers we passed by on our way to the hotel.

I walked for about five minutes, occupying myself by kicking rocks and observing all the people that I passed, taking note in the way they dressed and talked until I reached the small field that made me feel sad but happy at the same time.

I think it was about eleven am right now and I was debating on weather or not I should just stay here in the field until I disappear or not. I want to leave the way I came.

I sighed a bit before closing my eyes and laying down in the sweet grass, reflecting back on my life.

My life pretty much sucked, but at least I got to go on some kind of adventure before I actually disappear this time. Hopefully mom and my little bro aren't too sad right now, and I hope they can live a better life without worrying about me so much.

I just hope my mom can move on and I really hope I didn't scar my brother the way dad scarred me...now that I think about it he's about the same age as I was when dad passed away.

dad.

I miss you. You and I were best friends and I really thought you were my hero...Maybe when I disappear I can see you again? I can hold your hand and hug you like I did four years ago.

I held my breath, trying to stop my tears from rolling down my face but it was no use. I've been crying so much these past to days. I feel horrible and hopeless. My mind feels like it wants to explode and my heart is aching from all this pain I have to go through.

I want to go home.I want to be happy, I want to be normal, and see my house again. I want to be able to run across the street to my grandmas house on hot summer days and guzzle down water before turning around the running back home. I want to build a snowman again, feel the cold fluffy snow in my hands, I want to feel the exhilaration while my mother pushed me down a big hill in a trash can lid. I want to fall in love and have a family. I want to love my children and watch them grow.

There are so many things I want, I feel so selfish...But am I really being selfish? Is wanting to be happy being selfish? If it is then dang it I want to be selfish! I don't care if people see me as a horrible person I want to be happy for once.

I laid there in the field, tears rolling down the sides of my face, going into the cracks of my lips my tongue barely tasting the salty water that came from my body as it re entered through my mouth.

laying there I suddenly felt the hours of sleep I didn't get on the train as they hovered over me.

'I wont sleep long.' I thought while relaxing my bones 'I'll just wake up in an hour then go back to Ed and Al.' my mind whispered while my toes started to tingle.

The tingling wasn't as harsh as before. It was now a soft and comforting tickle rather than a hair pulling pinch.

The popping in my body started at my toes and slowly eased its way up my body. I wasn't really scared because the sparks were more comforting than they were frightening.

"Ginga!" I heard a far away voice ring through the air, but I didn't bother to open my eyes or get up and see who it was. I was too comfortable, this feeling was too great to ruin.

"Ginga!" The voice echoed through the air again only this time closer. The corner of my lips lifted when I realized who was calling me.

"Ginga!" The voices were now only a few feet away from me. My smile grew wider as the voices and the tingles vibrated throughout my body.

My legs were almost gone now and I could tell by the way Ed's and Al's feet moved on the ground they were worried, and scared.

Within seconds Ed and Al were kneeling next to me but I still didn't bother to open my eyes. I was too tired, and something told me not to because if I did then this happy feeling would go away.

"Ginga! Are you okay?" Ed asked me before I felt his soft fingers brush against my face, wiping my bangs away from my hazel eyes. The tingles that I got from Edward touching me was nothing like the other sparks in my body.

"Ed, she's almost gone!" Al whispered, making my smile flatten a bit.

"Ginga!" Eds voice yelled out but there was another voice that was layered over it.

"Ginga! Ginga open your eyes!" The voice sounded so familiar I was dying to know who it was because his voice was so soft and loving, so I pulled my eyes open to find myself surrounded in white.

I started to panic but all of my fear went away when I saw the familiar face of my father standing only feet away from me. I raised my body from the white floor and watched in disbelief while his body drew closer to mine.

"Dad?" I said not really believing what I was seeing while my eyes blinked a few times. "Dad is that you?" I asked only to retrieve an amazingly bright and happy smile from my father.

"Ginga." Ed's voice was too far away for me to hear now, and even if I were to hear it nothing could have stopped me from jumping up from the ground and plunging into my father.

My eyes welled with tears from the familiar firm chest and the way his long arms wrapped their way around my body, his large and thick hands rubbing my back while I cried into his chest.

The smell was just so familiar. It reminded me of the days when we would sit together on fridays and watch movies. Even his clothes felt the same way they did four years ago and the way I fit perfectly in his chest was exactly like I remembered it to be.

I love my dad so much, enough to forget about my life and Ed.

"Ginga." My name sounded so different when it came out of my fathers mouth. It can almost compare to the way Ed says it, he makes it sound actually beautiful.

I was so broken that I threw my life away.

Maybe someday I will regret not waking up, not responding to Ed's and Al's calls for me...Maybe if I knew that if I stayed with them Ed would of fallen in love with me and we would of been happy together, maybe then I would of opened my eyes and forgot my selfish desires long enough so I could remember that there were people in that world who actually cared about me.

I Ginga Mary Jason was thrown into the black pits of despair four years ago and hanging there was a small silky silver spiders thread that I could of used to hoist myself up,

but weather or not the person hangs on to the thread is up to the individual.

THE REASON WHY THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER IS BECAUSE I HAVE LOTS OF TESTS I NEED TO STUDY FOR AND I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU GUYS HANGING! I LOVE ALL THE REVIEWS I GET AND WHEN MY TESTS ARE OVER I MIGHT DO A SEQUIL..hmmm...OR I MIGHT START A NEW FAN FIC FOR FMA, BUT I WILL DO ONE OF THOSE SO NO WORRIES IF YOU ARE WORRYING!

**Here is a link to the sequel for this story, the sequel is called Paper Heart, I already have a few chapters up!**

**well actually just look in my stories and junk the sequel shall be there I promise.**

**Yes so please check it out! I plan on finishing the sequel!**

**MANY KISSES FROM WHERE I AM WHICH HAPPENS TO BE IN MY CLOSET! [this is the only quiet place in my freaking house so no misunderstandings!]**


	9. Sequel information!

Now that it is summer break I'm writing the sequel to The Search for Paradise! Yay! The squil is called Paper Hearts!

...

Ginga is brought to the place where all the dead people live by her father, and when she trys to go back to Ed's world she is told by the boss of this town that she has to pass a test first and if she doesnt prove herself within a year she will be sent back to this town and will have to stay this time. Ginga quickly accepts the creepy old mans offer and is sent back to Ed's and Al's world. Can Ginga pass this test when everything and everybody seems to be getting in her way? Will she have to go back to this town full of dead people?

...

I feel like i'm writing a trailer for a movie.

'Find out october 31!' Dramatic mans voice booms through tv

ha no but I would love love LLLOOOOOVVEEE if you read my sequel , I mean you probably want to read it anyways...Right?

Haha..ha..well anywhos..

I love support because I'm a supportive person!

I ALSO LIKE REVIEWS! SO CHOP CHOP!

Haha no pressure! :{D


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